The Six Elements of Self-Esteem Building
To perform at your best and to feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.
I have developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self-esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to assure maximum performance.
This formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are: goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. Let’s take them one at a time.
Element One
How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals. The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself.
Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason, it’s really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel more positive and effective in everything else you do.
Element Two
The second element in self-esteem building is having clear standards and values to which you are committed. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem will be.
Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent-that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another. But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that’s when you start to make real progress.
Many people tell me that they are unhappy with their job because they can’t seem to achieve success no matter how hard they try. I always ask them if they are doing what they really care about and believe in. In many cases, people realize that they are not happy with their job because it is the wrong kind of work for them. Once they change jobs and start doing something that they really enjoy, something that is more consistent with their innermost convictions, they start to make real progress and get a lot of satisfaction out of their work.
Element Three
The third element in self-esteem building involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and standards, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a winner and causes your self-esteem to go up. But remember that you can’t hit a target you can’t see. You can’t feel like a winner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.
Let’s say that you set a goal to sell a certain amount or earn a certain amount of income in a given year. If you break that down into monthly and weekly goals, and then you achieve the first of those goals, you will feel great about yourself. Each time you reach another milestone, your self-esteem and ability to perform will increase, and you will feel encouraged and enthusiastic about the next challenge.
Element Four
The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. Leon Festinger of Harvard University concluded that in determining how well we are doing, we do not compare ourselves with abstract standards, but, rather, we compare ourselves with people we know. To feel like a winner, you must know for sure that you are doing as well as or better than someone else. The more you know about how well the others in your field are doing, and the more favorably you compare with them, the more you will feel like a winner, and the higher your self-esteem will be.
Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. They think about them and read about them and study their performances, and then they work to surpass them one step at a time. Eventually, successful people reach the point where they compete only with themselves and with their past accomplishments. But this comes after they have moved to the top and left many of their competitors behind.
Element Five
The next element for self-esteem is recognition of your accomplishments by people whom you respect. To feel really great about yourself, you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse and people in your social circle.
Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard, your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do even better on the job.
Element Six
The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments. You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses, status symbols-larger offices, bigger cars-or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement. All of those symbols can have an incredible impact on raising your self-esteem and causing you to feel terrific about yourself.
Watch the video below about the correlation between self-esteem and thinking positive thoughts…
Build Unshakable Self-Confidence
You probably already know that the most successful people have incredible levels of self-confidence. They’ve accomplished great levels of success and happiness in their lives and seem to be unstoppable in everything that they do. The fact is that when you develop unshakable self-confidence your whole world will change for the better. Learn how with Brian Tracy’s The Science of Self-Confidence Training Kit
*What did you learn? Leave me a comment!






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Your blogs and books always inspire me in a way thats unbelieveable. God blessed us when he put you in marketing. I wish you could speak at one of my seminars, but hunney I cant afford you, lol. Keep up the great work I needed this bad!!!
Thanks for sharing this. As a business owner I think we should all keep number 4 - comparison with others - in mind in the work environment. Hiring employees that can challenge and feed off each others success, drives them to become better and better at what they do. I love how principles that apply to your personal day-to-day experiences also apply to your business as well.
Dear Brian,
That is an insightful blog post. I like the comment about comparing with other successful people. In fact, I feel we should probably go far enough to benchmark along the lines of monetary success, health, family etc to really gauge how we are doing.
Best,
Rohan
You are a master when it comes to goal setting! I hadn’t thought of comparing ourselves with others as a positive thing but then again that fits in with the idea of healthy competition - which I’ve seen work time and time again. Great article. I will share it with others
Thanks (I have followed you for years) for sharing I am not in the business world any more. I am a teacher and find that as a teacher we are at the 1st responders to the childrens needs MANY TIMES. I will use this with my classes. Thanks again.
Fantastic post Brian! I downloaded your Goals Report earlier this week and thought it was the perfect topic to write about on my youth motivational blog this week. I now understand the connection between achieving your goals and self confidence. Thank you for your insight, and your compelling nature to share those insights with the rest of the world. It is greatly appreciated.
Dream, Build, Inspire, Lead!
AJ~
I really agree with the parts about being completely and fully honest with yourself about who you are, what makes you happy, and what drives you. If you are crystal clear about what you enjoy doing, and not fitting yourself into a mold that you think you have to fit into, you’ll already be well ahead of most others.
Thanx for this blog, it touched me, has already impacted the way it should.Thanks a ton.
Great article! Simple and easy to understand. Indeed, goal setting is the starting point of success. More power to you.
Hey Brian, love the “good stuff” as Jim Rohn would say. Very accurate when it comes to those principals. Thanks for sharing hope to continue to see you with new material soon.
Brian, I just wanted to let you know I tried your mindstorming technique for the first time yesterday, and I’m very pleased with how well it works. You are brilliant.
Thanks for sharing this. I think you’ve given some very great pointers here. I think the one that we have to be careful with is comparing to others. That can be a dangerous ego driven trap, but it’s good to use as a benchmark.
Hi Brian,
thank you very much !
I have enjoyed your writings since for ever. You are one of my dearest teachers as your material is highly practical, you give only what works. Please keep the good stuff coming…
Thanks Brian. You’v been an inspiration to me. I recieve your newsletter daily and it has helped me in building my blog and getting across to those that may not have the opportunity of reading you. I really appreciate your enthusiasm in impacting your world.
Thanks once again.
Thanks Brian, I like the self esteem picture. We are the reflection of our thoughts and how we percieve ourself. This is also a great opportunity for you to read my thoughts having been following yours for sometime.
Genuine regards.
Thanks for this great post, you always inspiring me.
Thanks for the video for I am so aural and get more out of them! This is just what I needed today as a reminder of things I know just needed inspiration to practice! Love the blog
I like this post - it’s fitting to how I see the progress I’m making toward doing something important to me - for example -> I do like myself - without even thinking about it - when I’ve done something that walks me closer to my goals.
Also I’m beginning to recognize and respect me for how I feel to help me make decisions based on what I really care about versus what I think I should do. This is a w.i.p.
I want this process (awareness) to be a whole lot faster for each thing I do!
And the third thing I want to mention - and thank you for Brian - is pointing out how our self esteem does rise when people we care about “care about us” by offering good thoughts and “you’re doing a great job”.
It really works in building high self-esteen - and I’m grateful for this encoragement/praise - more so for how good it makes me feel rather then for a specific thing I’ve done.
Incredible! Thank you for sharing such great insights!
Sincerely,
Becky West
Brian, since i came into contact with your writing my perspective has been sharpen, you are very thoughtful, incisive, practical and action oriented in your approach to issues that concern human potential and personal development
We seem to gain momentum from our success but as easily we seem to lose that momentum right after failure. People need to accept failures as steps to success, that way there will be much more happy men and women.
Igor
Good morrow, Brian!
People often confuse self-esteem with such concepts as vanity, conceit, arrogance or egotism.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
People with high levels of self-esteem also possess and display high levels of esteem for others. They speak and act with respect about, and to, other people, as a matter of course. As such, they earn, and command, the respect and esteem of others, without seeking that respect and esteem. It’s almost magical.
There is no such thing as too high a level of self-esteem. It’s like being too happy, or too healthy, or having relationships that are too happy or too healthy. Just doesn’t happen.
On the other hand, arrogance, conceit, vanity and egotism are all characteristics of the insecure personality.
The tragedy of happy, healthy self-esteem is that it is so rare, and so easily lost, if not nurtured every day. Therefore, the most important question you can ask yourself on a regular basis is, “How can I attain and maintain happy, healthy self-esteem?”
That question, asked on a regular basis each day, will actuate parts of your brain that will look for opportunities to boost your self-esteem, along with the self-esteem of others.
Good heavens! I’m beginning to sound like you!
Live long and prosper! – CTZen
HELLO!
HARE KRISHNA!
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
GOD BLESS YOU!
AND PEACE BE WITH YOU!
THINK WIN/WIN!
GOOD LUCK!
HARIBOL!
JAYA GOPAL!
Excellent site, keep up the good work. I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,
A definite great read…
-Bill-Bartmann
[...] developing unshakable levels of self-confidence, your self-esteem, and self-regard are important starting points, but they are not enough. People have tried positive [...]