Archive for the ‘Personal Success’ Category
One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying. A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a conversation.
When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.
The Benefits of Pausing
First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before continuing. Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity. The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, "How do you mean, exactly?"
This is the most powerful question I’ve ever learned for controlling a conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, "How do you mean?" the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.
Paraphrase the Speaker’s Words
The third way to become a great conversationalist is to paraphrase the speaker’s words in your own words. After you’ve nodded and smiled, you can then say, "Let me see if I’ve got this right. What you’re saying is . . ."
By paraphrasing the speaker’s words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to understand his or her thoughts or feelings. And the wonderful thing is, when you practice effective listening, other people will begin to find you fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will feel relaxed and happy in your presence.
Listening Builds Trust
The reason why listening is such a powerful tool in developing the art and skill of conversation is because listening builds trust. The more you listen to another person, the more he or she trusts you and believes in you.
Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase.
Being a great listener will enable you to Communicate With Power.
Listening Develops Discipline
Finally, listening builds self-discipline in the listener. Because your mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention focused on another person?s words. If you do not practice self-discipline in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred different directions. The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and your own personality.
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any conversation or discussion. You will be amazed at how powerful this technique really is.
Second, continually ask, "How do you mean?" in response to anything that is not perfectly clear. This gives you even more time to listen well.
Communicate With Power
Don’t Sell Yourself Short
It’s not what you have but what you do with what you have that will determine your success or failure. Abraham Maslow, the great psychologist said that the story of the human race is the story of people selling themselves short. He said people have a tendency to settle for far less from life than they are truly capable of. Many people are spinning their wheels in careers where they should be moving rapidly onward and upward. Here’s how you can put your career on the fast track.
Choose Your Parents Carefully
Someone once said that the key to success was to choose your parents carefully. That may be partially true but it is even more important to choose your job or career with great care. The choice of a job or occupation for which you are ideally suited comes before anything else. If you try to work at something you don’t enjoy or don’t believe in, you’ll never be happy, and you’ll never be successful.
Be the Best At What You Do
Which leads us to the next point. If you want to reach the stars in your career, you have to become excellent at what you do. You have to pay any price, go any distance, spend any amount of time necessary to "be the best." Extraordinary rewards only go for extraordinary performance; average rewards for average performance; below average rewards, insecurity and failure for below average performance. And here’s a vital key, you are being paid today exactly what you’re worth – no more, no less. If you want to earn more, you must increase your worth, your value to others.
Move onward and upward with The Universal Laws of Success and Achievement.
The Key to Motivation
The reason why choosing the right career, why doing what you love to do is so important, is because unless you really care about your work, you will never be motivated to persist at it until you become excellent. And until you become excellent at what you’re doing, you can’t move ahead.
The Key to Peak Performance
The antidote to these fears is the development of courage, character and self-esteem. The opposite of fear is actually love, self-love and self-respect. Acting with courage in a fearful situation is simply a technique that boosts our regard for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and lose their ability to effect our behavior and our decisions.
Here are two things you can do to be more successful in your career.
First, set high standards for yourself and recognize that anything that someone else has achieved, you can probably achieve as well. There are no limits.
Second, select one key skill area that is important in your job and resolve to become absolutely excellent in that area. Start today to get better and better.
The Universal Laws of Success and Achievement
There is a close association between personal charisma and success in life.
Probably 85 percent of your success and happiness will come from your relationships and interactions with others. The more positively others respond to you, the easier it will be for you to get the things you want.
The Law of Attraction
In essence, when we discuss charisma, we are talking about the law of attraction. This law has been stated in many different ways down through the centuries, but it basically says that you inevitably attract into your life the people and circumstances that harmonize with your dominant thoughts.
You Are A Living Magnet
In a sense, you are a living magnet, and you are constantly radiating thought waves, like a radio station radiates sound waves, that are picked up by other people. Your thoughts, intensified by your emotions, as radio waves are intensified by electric impulses, go out from you and are picked up by anyone who is tuned in to a similar wavelength. You then attract into your life people, ideas, opportunities, resources, circumstances and anything else that is consistent with your dominant frame of mind.
The law of attraction also explains how you can build up your levels of charisma so that you can have a greater and more positive impact on the people whose cooperation, support and affection you desire.
Perception is Everything
The critical thing to remember about charisma is that it is largely based on perception. It is based on what people think about you. It is not so much reality as it is what people perceive you to be. For example, one person can create charisma in another person by speaking in glowing terms about that person to a third party. If you believe that you are about to meet an outstanding and important person, that person will tend to have charisma for you.
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
One of the most charismatic people in the world was Mother Teresa of Calcutta. In a physical sense, she was a quiet, elderly, frail woman in poor health, and she wore a modest nun’s habit. She might have been ignored by a person passing her on the street, were it not for the tremendous charisma she developed and for the fact that her appearance was so well-known to so many people as a result.
How Would You Feel?
If someone told you that he was going to introduce you to a brilliant, self-made millionaire who was very quiet and unassuming about his success, you would almost naturally imbue that person with charisma, and in his presence, you would not act the same as you would if you had been told nothing at all. Charisma begins largely in the mind of the beholder.
Lasting charisma depends more upon the person you really are than upon just the things you do.
Continually look for ways to improve other’s perceptions of you so that you can be more influential with them. Be a living magnet.
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, be clear about the messages you are sending and the perceptions you are creating in others. Are these perceptions consistent with the impressions you want to make?
Second, see yourself and imagine yourself every day as an important powerful and charming person. Treat others as you would if you were already strong, famous and influential.
Fake it until you make it!
The Law of Attraction — In Action LIVE Teleseminar
Your self-concept is made up of three parts, each of which affects each of the others.
Understanding these three parts enables you to put your hands on the keyboard of your own mental computer. When you learn to take charge of the development of a new and positive self-concept of selling, you can then control your sales destiny for the rest of your career.
Determine Your Direction
The first part of the self-concept is the "self-ideal." Your self-ideal largely determines the direction in which you are going with your life. It guides the growth and evolution of your character and personality. Your self-ideal is a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire. Your self-ideal is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.
Strive Toward Excellence
Throughout your life, you have seen and read about the qualities of courage, confidence, compassion, love, fortitude, perseverance, patience, forgiveness and integrity. Over time, these qualities have instilled in you an ideal to which you aspire. You might not always live up to the very best that you know, but you are constantly striving to be a better person in light of those qualities that you value so highly. In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities and your striving to behave consistently with them.
Clarity is Essential
Successful salespeople have very clear ideals for themselves and their careers. Unsuccessful salespeople have fuzzy ideals. Successful salespeople are very clear about being excellent in every part of their work and their personal lives. Unsuccessful salespeople don’t give the subject very much thought. One of the primary characteristics of successful men and women in every walk of life is that they have very clearly defined ideals and they are very aware of whether or not their current behaviors are consistent with their idealized behaviors.
Set Challenging Goals
Part of your ideals are your goals. As you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallizes. When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.
The Science of Self-Confidence Training Kit will help you achieve your goals!
Your Future is Unlimited
Perhaps the most important thing for you to realize is that whatever anyone else has done or become, you can do or become as well. Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination, and in your imagination, there are no limits except the ones that you accept.
What is your ideal vision of the very best person you could possibly become? How would you behave each day if you were already that person? Asking yourself these questions and then living your life consistent with the answers is the first step to creating yourself in your ideal image.
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals and ideals for yourself in every part of your life. Allow yourself to imagine a wonderful life ahead.
Second, think about how you would act if you were an outstanding person in every way. Then, practice being this person, as though you were acting a role in a play. You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behavior.
The Science of Self-Confidence Training Kit
The Key Question for You to Ask.
Why are you on the payroll? This is one of the most important questions you ever ask and answer, over and over again, throughout your career.
As it happens, most people are not sure exactly why they are on the payroll. But if you are not crystal clear about why it is that you are on the payroll and what results you have been hired to accomplish, it is very hard for you to perform at your best and get paid more and promoted faster.
Determine the Results Expected of You
In its simplest terms, you have been hired to get specific results. A wage or a salary is a payment for a specific quality and quantity of work that can be combined with the work of others to create a product or service that customers are willing to pay for.
Maximum Achievement Goal Planner will help you get results!
Define Your Key Result Areas
Each job can be broken down into about five to seven key result areas, seldom more. These are the results that you absolutely, positively have to get to fulfill your responsibilities and make your maximum contribution to your organization. Your failure to perform in a critical result area of your work can lead to failure at your job. There is essential knowledge and skill that you must have for your job. These demands are constantly changing. There are core competencies that you have developed that make it possible for you to do your job in the first place. But there are always key results that are central to your work and which determine your success or failure in your job.
You Are Responsible
A key result area is defined as something for which you are completely responsible. This means that if you don’t do it, it doesn’t get done. A key result area is an activity that is under your control. It is an output of your work that becomes an input or a contributing factor to the work of others.
Give Yourself A Grade
Once you have determined your key result areas, the second step is for you to grade yourself on a scale of 1-10 in each of those areas. Where are you strong and where are you weak? Where are you getting excellent results and where are you under performing?
Here’s the rule: Your weakest key result area sets the height at which you can use all your other skills and abilities.
This rule says that you could be exceptional in six out of seven key result areas but really poor in the seventh. And your poor performance in the seventh area will hold you back and determine how much you achieve with all your other skills. This weakness will act as a drag on your effectiveness and be a constant source of friction and frustration.
Decide to Become Excellent
The fact is that everybody has both strengths and weaknesses. Refuse to rationalize, justify or defend your areas of weakness. Instead, identify them clearly. Set a goal and make a plan to become very good in each of those areas. Just think! You may be only one critical skill away from top performance at your job.
Here is one of the greatest questions you will ever ask and answer: “What one skill, if I developed and did it in an excellent fashion, would have the greatest positive impact on my career?”
You should use this question to guide your career for the rest of your life. Look into yourself for the answer. You usually know what it is.
First, identify the key result areas of your work. What are they? Write down the key results you have to get to do your job in an excellent fashion. Give yourself a grade from 1-10 on each one. And then determine the one key skill that, if you did it in an excellent manner, would help you the most in your work.
Second, make a habit of doing this analysis regularly for the rest of your career. Never stop improving. This decision alone can change your life.
Maximum Achievement Goal Planner
You already have everything you need to create a wonderful life for yourself.
You know everything you need to know to be your own best friend, a gentle guide, a teacher and a helper to yourself so you can be truly happy and fulfilled.
You can learn how to become your own psychotherapist for life, and how to resolve the difficulties that stand between you and personal joy.
Be Honest With Yourself
The starting point of becoming your own best friend is for you to be perfectly honest with yourself and your relationships. Refuse to practice self-delusion or hope for the best. For example, when something is making you unhappy, for any reason, the situation will tend to get worse rather than better. So avoid the temptation to engage in denial, to pretend that nothing is wrong, to wish and hope and pray that, whatever it is, it will go away and you won’t have to do anything. The fact is that it probably will get worse before it gets better and that ultimately you will need to face the situation and do something about it.
Deal With Your Problem at a Higher Level
There’s an old saying that you can’t solve a problem on the level that you meet it. This means that wrestling with a persistent problem is often fruitless and frustrating. For example, if two people who are in a relationship together are constantly fighting and negotiating and looking for some way to resolve their difficulties, they may be attempting to solve the problem on the wrong level. Dealing with the problem on a higher level, those people would ask the question, "In terms of being happy, is this the right relationship for us in the first place?"
Find the Right Job For You
Many people work very hard and experience considerable frustration trying to do a particular job. However, in terms of their own happiness, the right answer might be to do something else, or to do what they’re doing in a different place, or to do it with different people-or all three. Here are a few questions for you to answer in this arena of happiness. Write them down at the top of a sheet of paper, and then write as many answers to each one as you possibly can.
Simplify Your Life and find happiness.
What Would It Take?
The first question is: "What would it take for me to be perfectly happy?" Write down every single thing that you can imagine would be in your life if you were perfectly happy at this very moment. Write down things such as health, happiness, prosperity, loving relationships, inner peace, travel, car, clothes, homes, money, and so on. Let your mind run freely. Imagine that you have no limitations at all.
What is Holding You Back?
The second question is a little tougher. Write down at the top of a page this question: "In what situations in my life, and with whom, am I not perfectly happy?" Force yourself to think about every part of your day, from morning to night, and write down every element that makes you unhappy or dissatisfied in any way. Remember, proper diagnosis is half the cure. Identifying the unsatisfactory situations is the first step to resolving them.
Determine Your Happiest Moment
The third question will give you some important guidelines. Write down at the top of a sheet of paper these words: "In looking over my life, where and when have I been the happiest? Where was I, with whom was I, and what was I doing?"
Decide What to Do
Once you have the answers to those questions, think about what you can do, starting immediately, to begin creating the kind of life that you dream of. It may take you a week, a month, or a year, but that doesn’t matter. Every single thing you do that moves you closer to your ideal vision will be rewarding in itself. You’ll become a more positive and optimistic person. You’ll feel more confident and more in charge of your life, and you’ll achieve true peace of mind.
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, examine your business and personal relationships carefully. Is there any situation you wouldn’t get into again if you had it to do over?
Second, make a list of every single thing in your life that would make you happy and then think about what you could do to begin achieving them.
Third, allow yourself to dream and fantasize about your ideal life, what it would look like and feel like, and then do something every day to make it a reality.
Simplify Your Life
There are four rules of time. The first is that time is perishable.
This means that it cannot be saved. In fact, time can only be spent. Because time is perishable, the only thing you can do with it is to spend it differently, to reallocate your time away from activities of low value and toward activities of higher value. But once it is gone, it is gone forever.
Time Is Indispensable
The second rule of time is that time is indispensable. All work requires time. No matter what it is you want to do in life, even looking out a window or sleeping in for a few extra minutes, it requires a certain amount of time. And according to the 10/90 Rule, the 10% of time that you take to plan your activities carefully in advance will save you 90% of the effort involved in achieving your goals later. The very act of thinking through and planning your work in advance will dramatically reduce the amount of time that it takes you to do the actual job.
The Currency of the Future
The third rule of time is that time is irreplaceable. Nothing else will do, especially in relationships. Time is the only currency that means anything in your relationships with the members of your family, your friends, colleagues, customers and coworkers. Truly effective people give a lot of thought to creating blocks of time that they can then spend, without interruption, with the important people in their lives.
Use your time well with Time Management for Results
Spell the Word Correctly
There is a question: "How do children spell the word ‘Love?’" And the answer is "T-I-M-E." It is the same with your spouse, as well. The important people in your life equate the amount of time that you spend with them, face to face, head to head, knee to knee, with the amount that you actually love them.
Grow Your Relationships
The more time that you spend with another person, especially a member of your family, the deeper grows your understanding and affection for that person. If you get too busy to spend time with your children, you eventually lose contact with them and they go off into their own personal world of school, peers and other activities.
The Key to Goal-Achievement
The fourth rule is that time is essential for accomplishment. Every goal you want to achieve, everything you want to accomplish, requires time. In fact, one of the smartest things you ever do, when you set a goal, is to sit down and allocate the exact amount of time that you are going to have to invest to achieve that goal. The failure to do this almost always leaves the goal unaccomplished.
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action:
First, decide today to redirect and reallocate your time away from low-value tasks and toward high-value activities.
Second, make a plan to spend more time face-to-face with the most important people in your life. The more you think about the use of your time, the better you will become.
Time Management for Results
One of the most powerful personal programming activities you can engage in is positive self-talk.
Be your own cheerleader and talk to yourself positively all of the time.
Think About Your Dreams
As it happens, the average person talks to himself in a negative way. As much as 94 percent of your inner dialogue tends to be about the things you fear, your worries, the people you’re angry at, your problems, your concerns and so on. You have to consciously keep your words, your inner dialogue, consistent with what you wish to accomplish.
The Most Powerful Antidote
Psychologists have proven that the words, "I can do it," are the antidote to the fear of failure that often holds you back from trying. Repeat these words over and over to yourself whenever you feel fearful or doubtful about anything that you want to attempt. Say very enthusiastically to yourself, "I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!" When you start saying, "I can do it, I can do it," you drive that message deep into your subconscious mind. This message lowers your fears and builds your self-confidence.
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Make A Million!
Another thing you can say to yourself is, "I make a million. I make a million." Impress that message into your subconscious mind. Whenever you think about your work, say over and over again, "I’m the best, I’m the best, I’m the best." Making any one of these three statements, or anything that is positive makes you feel good about yourself and causes you to be more motivated. You become more focused, more determined. Wealthy, successful people have a continuous inner dialogue that is positive and constructive and uplifting and consistent with their goals and objectives.
Feed Your Mind Continually
Feed your mind from morning to night with words, pictures, information and ideas consistent with your goals for financial success. Develop the habit of thinking positively and confidently about wealth accumulation. Read stories, books and articles about other successful people. Think about how you could be like them. Visualize yourself, imagine, fantasize, pretend in your mind that you are like the kind of people that you admire and respect and want to be like.
Select A Role Model
Psychologists have proven that role models are essential for magnetizing your mind with the qualities and characteristics that you wish to develop in yourself. Pick a person that you admire. Whenever you face any kind of difficult situation, ask yourself, how would this person act in this situation? What would this person do? How would this person behave? You’ll find that when you think about how someone you admire might behave, your own thinking becomes better and you tend to act at your very best.
Become An Expert
Read everything you can find about your business. Become an expert in your field. The more you learn about your profession, your trade and your craft, the more confident you will become that you can do well in it.
Here are two things you can do to put yourself on the new mental diet for financial success:
First, repeat to yourself, over and over again, the wonderful words "I can do it! I can do it! I can do it!" Whenever you are anticipating any new goal or opportunity. This affirmation builds your self-confidence and conditions you for success.
Second, monitor your mental diet the way you would your physical diet. Be sure that you feed yourself throughout the day with positive stories, words, pictures and conversations about the things you want to have in your life. Refuse to read, watch, listen to or discuss things that are negative or depressing. This will make a tremendous difference in how you feel and how you act.
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Push to the Top
All successful people are very productive. They work longer hours and they work better hours. They get a lot more done than the average person. They get paid more and promoted faster. They are highly respected and esteemed by everyone around them. They become leaders and role models. Inevitably, they rise to the top of their fields and to the top of their income ranges, and so can you.
Everything is Learnable
Every single one of these tested and proven strategies for managing your time and doubling your productivity is learnable through practice and repetition. Each of these methods will eventually become a habit of both thinking and working.
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The Payoff is Remarkable
When you begin applying these techniques to your work and to your life, your self-esteem, self-confidence, self-respect and sense of personal pride will go up immediately. The pay off for you will be tremendous, for the rest of your life.
Make A Decision!
Every positive change in your life begins with a clear, unequivocal decision that you are going to either do something or stop doing something. Significant change starts when you decide to either get in or get out, either fish or cut bait.
Learning is a lot like exercising: it’s an activity that must be done often to attain maximum results. Your brain, just like the other muscles in your body, needs to be challenged and remain active.
The Vital Quality of Success
Decisiveness is one of the most important qualities of successful and happy men and women, and decisiveness is developed through practice and repetition, over and over again until it becomes as natural to you as breathing in and breathing out.
Why People Are Poor
The sad fact is that people are poor because they have not yet decided to be rich. People are overweight and unfit because they have not yet decided to be thin and fit. People are inefficient time wasters because they haven’t yet decided to be highly productive in everything they do.
Become An Expert
Decide today that you are going to become an expert in time management and personal productivity, no matter how long it takes or how much you invest in it. Resolve today that you are going to practice these principles, over and over again until they become second nature.
Here are two steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, hold your own feet to the fire. Resolve to start earlier, work harder and stay later. Don’t let yourself off the hook.
Second, become an expert in time management. Learn and practice time management techniques every day until they become habits.
Rapid Learning Made Simple
The art of good conversation centers very much on your ability to ask questions and to listen attentively to the answers.
You can lace the conversation with your insights, ideas, and opinions, but you perfect the art and skill of conversation by perfecting the art and skill of asking good, well-worded questions that direct the conversation and give other people an opportunity to express themselves.
Ask Open Ended Questions
Ask open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." Open-ended questions encourage the speaker to expand on his thoughts and comments. And one question will lead to another. You can ask open-ended questions almost endlessly, drawing out of the other person everything that he or she has to say on a particular subject.
Be Content to Listen
In order to be an excellent conversationalist, you must resist the urge to dominate the discussion. The very best conversationalists seem to be low-key, easy-going, cheerful, and genuinely interested in the other person. They seem to be quite content to listen when other people are talking and they make their own contributions to the dialogue rather short and to the point.
Learn the secrets to communicating in How to Talk: Secrets of the Great Communicators + Bonuses!
Share the Opportunity to Talk
In fact, good conversation has an easy ebb and flow, like the tide coming in and going out. Whether it is between two people or among several, the conversation should shift back and forth, with each person getting an opportunity to talk. Conversation in this sense is like a ball that is tossed from person to person, with no one holding on to it for very long.
If you feel that you have been talking for too long, you should stop and ask a question of someone in the group. You will be tossing the conversational ball and giving that individual an opportunity to converse.
Learn to Listen Well
Listening is the most important of all skills for successful conversation. Many people are very poor listeners. Since everyone enjoys talking, it takes a real effort to practice the fundamentals of excellent listening and to make them a habit.
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, make a habit of asking good, open-ended questions of others in every conversation and in response to problems or difficulties. This shows interest and increases your understanding.
Second, take a deep breath, relax and let the other person talk more. Practice over and over until you become an excellent listener.
How to Talk: Secrets of the Great Communicators + Bonuses!