How to Become Popular- 5 Great Steps to Building Self-Confidence

Written By | Personal Success | October 2nd, 2013 | 32 Comments »

how to become popular unconditional positive regard building self confidenceHow would you like to become popular and welcome people in your social or business circles?

Well, you can be, by learning how to be more charming in every interaction with others.

Do you know how to become popular in your personal and professional life? The deepest human need is the desire to feel important. When you go through life building self-confidence and making other people feel important and valuable, they will like you, welcome you, and open every door for you. This is how to become popular both professionally and personally.

If you are in business, becoming a charming person, making others feel important, will help you in every business situation, from negotiating terms to borrowing money to influencing key customers.

If you are in sales, the way customers feel about you, and feel when they are with you, will determine your level of sales and referrals more than any other factor.

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In your personal, family and social life, learning to be more charming will make you more popular, desirable, influential and persuasive than any other quality.

How do you become a genuinely charming person? In The Power of Charm, there are 35 chapters dedicated to answering this question, but here are five behaviors you can practice with every person to make him or her feel more important:

1. Unconditional Positive Regard

Each person has a deep-down need to be accepted unconditionally by other people, without judgment or criticism.

And how to express this “unconditional positive regard?” Simple! Just smile. An open, honest, happy-to-see-you smile warms people’s hearts, makes them feel important, and causes them unconsciously to like you from the first moment.

2. Promote High Self-Esteem with Appreciation

Everyone loves to be appreciated for something, anything they have done for someone else.

When you say the magic words “Thank you” early and often, you make people feel important and happy, raise their self-esteem and increase their desire to help you and do things for you.

3. Give Genuine Compliments

Whenever you admire the possessions, traits or accomplishments of others, they automatically feel more important and valuable! As Abraham Lincoln said, “Everybody likes a compliment.”

Admire people’s choices in clothing, hairstyles, cars, briefcases, purses or office layout. Admire their homes or apartments. Admire their degrees or certificates. Whenever you compliment a person on something he or she has obviously invested time and emotion in achieving, you boost their self-image and build high self-esteem. As a result, they find you to be “charming.”

4. Building Self-Confidence through Approval

Give praise and approval generously, for both small and large accomplishments. Whenever anyone does anything worthwhile, tell them how good they are, and what a fine job they’ve done, building self-confidence and high self-esteem.

One definition of self-esteem is “how much a person feels praiseworthy.”

When you praise your spouse and children, your staff and coworkers, your customers and suppliers, you make them feel more important, and cause them to see you as “charming.”

5. Give Them Your Full Attention

People feel valuable and important to the degree to which they are listened to and respected.

Whenever you listen closely to another person when he is talking, his self-esteem goes up. His brain releases endorphins, nature’s “happy drug,” and he feels good about being in your presence.

You always “pay value” to a person by listening attentively, by hanging on every word. When you do, he or she warms up to you and begins to find you “charming.”

Go through life looking for little opportunities to make people feel valuable and special. Smile at them as if you are glad to see them. Thank them regularly. Compliment them sincerely. Praise them lavishly. And listen to them when they speak building self-confidence and promoting high self-esteem.

Soon, almost without effort on your part, everyone will be talking about “what a charming person you are.”

Thank you for reading this article on how to become popular through unconditional positive regard, building self-confidence and promoting high self-esteem. Please share and comment below!

Topics included in this article are

How to Become Popular

Unconditional Positive Regard

High Self-Esteem

Building Self-Confidence

About Brian Tracy – Brian Tracy is recognized as the top sales training and personal success authority in the world today. He has authored more than 60 books and has produced more than 500 audio and video learning programs on sales, management, business success and personal development, including worldwide bestseller The Psychology of Achievement. Brian’s goal is to help you achieve your personal and business goals faster and easier than you ever imagined. You can follow him on google+, facebook, and twitter.


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    This somehow answers some of my questions on how to keep our salespeople motivated. Another question to mind is how exactly can we sustain people’s motivation in this light. How does this of motivation interplay with business having advocacy to help the poor, our country and its enevironment?

  29. Polina says on November 11, 2013 at 11:28 am:

    Thank you so much for your great competences in this part of life! This simple advices can help each of us to become more succeseful! I think that many people do this subconsciously, but you wright about it..and when i read it? i begin understand a lot of things) Thank you so much that you share your knowleges)

  30. sara says on November 4, 2013 at 12:46 am:

    It was great. It’s unbelievable that such simple steps can make one more charming. I’m going to put them into practice.

  31. Jane says on October 4, 2013 at 5:31 am:

    It is amazing how simple it is to expressing unconditional positive regard – I love it when people smile at me. Even strangers become friends with just a smile and when we appreciate people with an open heart and a broad smile, it just cuts it.

    Awesome tips as always Brian!

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