How to Build Self-Confidence and Believe in Yourself

After personally experiencing the good that focusing on positive thinking can bring, I can say your ability to have self-confidence and believe in yourself can change your life.

The process of thinking and talking about what you want and how to get it can actually make you feel happier and in greater control of your life. And when you feel in control of your life, you start to believe in yourself more and boost your confidence to a level that helps you achieve everything you want in life.

If you’re ready to gain control back in your life, feel more comfortable and happy in your own skin and start accomplishing everything you want, allow me to walk you through how to start boosting self-confidence!

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What Is Self-Confidence?

Before we dig into how to build self-confidence, it’s important to identify what it really is. 

Self-confidence is a feeling of complete trust in your abilities, knowledge, and skills. Another key point of self-confidence is that it looks a little different for everyone, depending on your personality.

In general, though, to be confident means that you have a generally positive attitude and a healthy way of thinking about yourself.

High levels of self-confidence are also related to having good self-esteem.

Self-esteem differs from confidence in that it refers to your sense of personal value and self-worth. This also goes hand in hand with self-respect, which is self-explanatory: Self-respect is being aware of your worth and treating yourself accordingly.

Keep in mind that you don’t have to be confident 100% of the time to be a confident person. Many self-confident people tend to feel nervous or unsure from time to time. That’s natural. You can still be a confident person overall even if you don’t swagger into every room with your chest out.

In fact, most signs of self-confidence are quieter… but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Why Believe in Yourself?

Believing in yourself builds self-confidence. And over time, this leads to a whole host of benefits in the workplace and in your personal life.

Traits of A Confident Person

How can you spot a confident person–or tell if you’ve done a good job of building confidence? Here are some key traits that signal a highly confident person:

  • They don’t seek external approval or validation
  • They’re willing to ask for help
  • They are able to make decisions
  • They don’t worry about things they can’t control
  • They’re quick to admit a mistake or apologize when needed
  • They aren’t afraid to speak up and make their desires or ideas known
  • They make eye contact and use assertive, welcoming body language
  • They persevere and work hard
  • They’re readily willing to help and celebrate others

These are just a few examples of what a confident person looks like.

Benefits of Self-Confidence

There are numerous benefits to having a healthy sense of self-esteem. Your level of confidence affects every part of your life! When you feel confident, you will be able to:

  • Express your needs and opinions in an assertive yet respectful way
  • Make decisions without overthinking
  • Form secure, honest, trust-based relationships
  • Be more forgiving of yourself and others
  • Push through hard times with resiliency
  • Feel less fear and anxiety
  • Increase your motivation
  • Work well under stress
  • Be a better leader, who influences people for good
  • Feel happy and content with your life

At the end of the day, having self-confidence will allow you to be your authentic self. And when you are who you’re supposed to be, you’ll be able to go where you’re supposed to go. Self-confidence helps you succeed in life.

How To Believe in Yourself and Build Self-Confidence

Learning how to believe in yourself starts with thinking positively and vocalizing positive statements to yourself to build your self-esteem.

It also includes identifying what your highest values and aspirations in life are and setting expectations so you can be true to yourself — which will let you live your best life.

At the end of the day, believing in yourself doesn’t have to be a complicated process. Try some of these proven methods to help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.



Surround Yourself with Positivity

Your choice of the people with whom you live, work, and associate has more of an impact on your emotions and your success than any other factor. Decide today to associate with winners, with positive people, and those who are going somewhere with their lives.

Visualize positive things and set positive expectations for yourself, as well. Envision yourself accomplishing your goals, living the life you want to live, and being surrounded by what you want in your life.

Focus on, “what if I succeed,” instead of, “what if I fail.”

It’s also important to develop favorable health habits.

Eating healthy food, staying fit, and getting enough rest give you the energy you need to accomplish your goals and keep your mind clear and active.

When you are healthy, you feel good about yourself.

Strategically picking your friends, focusing on visualization to act confident, and supporting your physical body with what it needs to thrive–these are all valuable ways to stay positive and develop greater self-confidence.

Read Self-Confidence Books

The more positive elements you have in your life, the easier it is to gain confidence and believe in yourself even more. 

Deciding to make small changes in your routine and surroundings can have a big impact on your ability to develop confidence and stay positive. One of the best ways to achieve this is by reading self-confidence books.

When it comes to building self-confidence, there are so many authors who have written about proven methods to help do just that. 

Consider reading a few of these works to help you understand how to build self-confidence:

  • “The Power of Self-Confidence” by Brian Tracy
  • “The Confidence Code” by Claire Shipman
  • “Get Out of Your Own Way” by Philip Goldberg and Mark Goulston
  • “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field” by Nathaniel Branden
  • “Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds”  by David Goggins
  • “The Self Confidence Workbook: A Guide to Overcoming Self-Doubt and Improving Self-Esteem” by Barbara Markway, Celia Ampel, and Teresa Flynn

Remember Your Past Achievements

One of the best ways to combat negative self-talk and boost low self-confidence? Spend some time reflecting on your past success.

Making a list of your accomplishments is a powerful way to gain more confidence in yourself. The list will remind you that you’ve done it before, and you can do it again.

Grab a pen and paper and get to work listing your achievements over your life. You might start out the list something like:

  • Graduated from college summa cum laude
  • Received an award after six months in my first job
  • Wrote a book on the weekends

If you’re having trouble coming up with items to add to your list, get out of your comfort zone and ask a friend, family member, or colleague for their input on your own abilities.

When your list is complete, stick it somewhere you’ll see it every day, such as your refrigerator door or bathroom mirror.

But don’t feel like you need to stop at “big” achievements. To help build confidence on an ongoing basis, consider making a list of achievements every day. This might read something like:

  • Went to the gym
  • Worked through an online course
  • Practiced public speaking

Any time you make progress toward your goals, that counts as success. And keeping track of your day-to-day success will make you a more confident person.

Use Positive Affirmations

Positive self-talk and affirmations are helpful tools to boost low self-confidence.

When you use positive self-talk, you simply think positive thoughts to and about yourself instead of negative ones. For example, instead of thinking:

“I can’t believe I didn’t finish the project in time. I’m such a failure. They’ll never ask me to lead anything again.”

Think to yourself:

“I didn’t finish the project on time, but I worked really hard, and I know my boss recognizes my effort. I’m thankful for the deadline extension and I’ll do a great job of finishing up the project.”

If you lack confidence, consider whether you’re using negative self-talk. Flipping this around might be key to helping you gain self-confidence and become your authentic self.

Daily affirmations are also extremely helpful in developing self-confidence and a positive attitude. Consider repeating affirmations in the mirror every morning as well as thinking them to yourself throughout your day.

Here is a list of positive affirmations to choose from:

  • I am confident.
  • I am successful.
  • I am happy.
  • I am a hard worker.
  • I am improving myself every day.
  • Today is going to be a good day.
  • I have everything I need.
  • I am grateful for everything I have.
  • I am going to be productive today.
  • I am capable of making it through hard times.
  • I might fail, but I will always keep trying.
  • I am doing the best I can.

Over time, these affirmations will replace negative thoughts. You’ll be able to stop comparing yourself to other people’s success and recognize that you have a lot to offer, too.

Take Care of Yourself

Self-compassion is part of self-confidence.

Self-compassion combines mindfulness and kindness, not beating yourself up when you fail. How would you treat your best friend if they failed at something or if they’re going through a rough patch? You’d probably respond with support and comfort. That’s how you should treat yourself, too.

It’s important to note that self-compassion is different from self-pity. You don’t want to sit around feeling sorry for yourself, or take this as justification to binge Netflix and eat junk food all day.

Instead, being compassionate to yourself is about giving yourself what you need to be set up for success.

This might look like taking the time to develop skills that will open doors down the road. It might look like being intentional about going for a run every morning because you know this clears your mind from negative thoughts and helps you prepare for the day. Or it might look like tapping into a community that can help you with your mental health.

Self-compassion and self-care will help you realize your own strengths and become your best self. And although it probably won’t happen overnight, along the way you will realize you’re feeling confident, too.

Think Positively

Focusing on positive thoughts and emotions will teach you how to believe in yourself. One way you can learn how to think positively is by fostering an optimism-focused mindset.

This means that no matter what happens in your life–good or bad–you can look at it as an experience to learn from and use to make your life even better. Nothing in your daily life is a waste of time. Being intentional about taking control of your situation and learning from everything makes a big difference in your mindset.

Being optimistic also helps build your self-confidence. Being pessimistic, however, tears down your self-esteem and prevents you from growing due to fear, lack of faith, or unwillingness to take risks. In fact, negative thoughts are the single biggest enemy that any of us have. 

The key to eliminating negative thoughts and emotions is to take responsibility for yourself, your reactions, and your situation by having good values.

Your values in life determine your beliefs, about yourself and the world around you. For example, if you have positive values, such as love, compassion, and generosity, you will believe that people in your world are deserving of these values and you will treat them accordingly.

And when you believe in yourself and choose to be a good person, you will find yourself to be more positive and successful in your own life.

Think about this: Who do you know right now that you consider a confident person? 

Take note of the things they say and choose not to say, the choices they make, and the people they surround themselves with. 

Do more confident people come to mind? 

The reason this happens is by the law of cause and effect. If you act in the same way other healthy, happy people with positive attitudes act, you will soon feel the same way, see the same results, and enjoy the same experiences.

Believe You Have Confidence

Perhaps one of the hardest things to do in life is to accept how extraordinary you really are, believe in yourself, and then incorporate this awareness into your attitude and personality.

But there is no one like you. You have unique contributions to share with the world that only you can give.

After all, we all have our own talents, skills, and abilities that make us extraordinary.

So one key to having confidence is by saying it. Tell yourself you have confidence, and then believe it.

Your thoughts become words and your words become your actions. So if you continue to tell yourself that you believe in yourself, eventually you really will believe in yourself.

Have the courage to accept yourself as you really are — not as you might be, or as someone else thinks you should be — and know that taking everything into consideration, you really are worthy to have the kind of life you want. You are an extraordinary person.

Set Expectations

Your beliefs determine your expectations. 

If you have positive values, you will believe yourself to be a good person. And, if you believe in yourself to be a good person, good things will happen to you. 

When you expect good things to happen to you, you will be more positive, cheerful, and future-oriented. You will look for the good in other people and situations.

For example, if your value is that this is a good world to live in and your belief is that you are going to be very successful in life, you will expect everything that happens to you is helping you in some way.

As a result, you will have a positive mental attitude toward other people, and they will respond positively toward you, helping you be a more cheerful and optimistic person that others will want to work with and for, buy from and sell to, and generally help to be more successful.

Build Self-Esteem

When you take steps toward building your self-esteem, your confidence grows and the natural outcome is that you start to believe in yourself. Use these six elements of self-esteem building to help you learn how to believe in yourself:

GOALS

Setting clear, realistic goals gives you purpose and makes you feel good about yourself. Each step you take toward achieving your goals builds your self-esteem. Create a to-do list that breaks down your goals into incremental steps.

STANDARDS

People with high self-esteem have high standards. They make choices that are consistent with their standards. Develop values and ideals that you can be proud of and make sure your goals are aligned with them. 

SUCCESS EXPERIENCES

When you are setting your goals, write down the smaller milestones it will take for you to reach them.  Each positive experience you have with success — large or small — will add to your belief in yourself (making your list of achievements even longer).

COMPARISON WITH OTHERS

Identify people you respect and look up to–people whose standards align with the ones you want to have. As you make progress, compare yourself to see how you measure up and get clues about how you can improve. Comparing yourself to others isn’t always good. But role models and mentors can push us to become better ourselves.

RECOGNITION

Recognition from people who are important to you–such as your family members, boss, or mentor–builds your self-esteem. Striving to achieve your goals will attract recognition. You’ll feel proud and your confidence levels will soar.

REWARDS

Along with recognition are tangible rewards. Your self-esteem grows as you work toward and receive a bonus at work, certification or licensure, an advancement in position or level of trust, or other status markers. 

Achieve Your Goals with Confidence

Being self-confident helps you succeed in life. And planning out your goals is the best way to optimize your success.

My Personal Development Plan Template walks you through how to identify areas of opportunity. You’ll learn how to think ahead, evaluate your goals, and plan for the months and years to come. And eventually, you’ll reach those goals with confidence.

Download the template today and get started on the road to your success!

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How To Believe in Yourself and Boost Your Self-Confidence
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How To Believe in Yourself and Boost Your Self-Confidence
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Your ability to believe in yourself can change your life for the better. Use these tips to help you start to believe in yourself more and boost self-confidence!
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Brian Tracy International
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About Brian Tracy — Brian is recognized as the top sales training and personal success authority in the world today. He has authored more than 60 books and has produced more than 500 audio and video learning programs on sales, management, business success and personal development, including worldwide bestseller The Psychology of Achievement. Brian's goal is to help you achieve your personal and business goals faster and easier than you ever imagined. You can follow him on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Linkedin and Youtube.

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